A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
