Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Randomize