Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize