After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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