i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize