look no pants
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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