He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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