Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
