the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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