Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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