WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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