you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
