it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
