I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
