For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
The air taste purple.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
