PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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