I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
