He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
