Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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