he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
If I die, sorry about rent.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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