i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
