You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
