Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
