is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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