she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
