Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Barsexuality is the new black.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
