I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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