I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
