the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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