I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
