The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
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