just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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