you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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