You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
