I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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