I have demons in me.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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