Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
