next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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