a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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