Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Randomize
