i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Blood and glitter go together right?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
