What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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