Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm having to shit out rocks
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