Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
