I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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