he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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