You just made me feel so damn special
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
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my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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