This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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