you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
