Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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