I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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