i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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