Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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