69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
