It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
