but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
