This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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