is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
