i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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