Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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