marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
