remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
