Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
All I want is dick and wine.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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